Sunday, January 13, 2013

One of those days...

Today was one of those days where I was reminded of Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome and it hit me hard.  Today Dylan was invited to a birthday party of a boy in his class.  Dylan attends a pre-school with an inclusion program where 20% of the children have special needs and 80% are typical.  This was a "typical" party, his first that he has ever been invited to, other than close friends and family.  I was excited to take him, Dylan was excited to put on his jacket and shoes because he knew that we were going somewhere.  The moment I walked in I already felt sad.  It was at one of those indoor play places and kids were running everywhere.  They had bouncy houses,slides,toys and things to climb on - mostly things that were way too advanced for my boy.  So amongst all the craziness I found a spot on the carpet for my little man and we played - and by playing I mean I handed him a toy that he would pick up and look at for a minute then throw and I would put it back in his lap and we would repeat this over and over until he got tired of it.

He didn't interact with any of the other children.  His classmates would come by and say "hi Dylan!" and I would lift his arm up to wave and he would turn his head. 

I know that he was doing this because it was most likely over stimulating for him but still, it made me sad.  I know that Dylan will never be "normal" or "typical" and no amount of therapy will "fix" him but I wanted so much today to see him running around with his classmates and jumping in the bouncy house, heck I wanted to see him sitting at the table with the rest of group to sing "Happy Birthday" but instead he sat in his stroller at the end of the table with me. 

I shed a tear tonight for what could have been, for what I had hoped for, but then was reminded by my mom that Dylan isn't sad that he has Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome.  He was happy to go somewhere new, he was happy that we got in the car, he was happy to be with me - his crazy dancing, clapping, made-up-song singing mom who can make him smile from ear to ear.